Choking on words that I can never say
so tired of hiding my heart away
knowing that I will do what I must
biting my tongue, unwilling to betray trust
even if it's killing me - but no, that's not true
that which does not kill us, or cripple us,
or make us crazy,
makes us stronger. colder. sadder.
but this love I feel stabbing through me
will surely not kill me.
nothing lasts forever.
this too shall pass.
so, I will long in vain for your touch,
daydream about you ~ where is my mind?
you ask... I'll never tell. Instead,
I will cry it out, and try to laugh at myself too,
write bad poetry about it, but never send it to you
whisper sweet words to the passing wind
in hopes that these feelings will be carried far, far away
where they cannot intrude on me today;
sing songs of love to myself to to comfort myself
while I fall asleep next to your ghost
and wake up with you on my mind;
frustration intensifies for a time
and then recedes - too much - I am numb.
All of these things I will do, but I will NOT
betray anybody and say it out loud.
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