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Untitled old poetry – Original Poetry by PoetryGrrrl


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I have no idea what date these were from, but this is my closest guess (1991) and a random date...

Things hidden inside,
felt by me alone,
memories and thoughts that are
all my own,
kept deep inside,
well hidden from you,
who can never understand
the things that I do.

Things hidden inside,
kept safe from your kind
your ideas of reality
are all in your mind.
If you'd open the doorways
then maybe you'd see
that without all the walls
you're exactly like me.

==

It feels like I'm in heaven
but I think I'm really in hell
there's a terror deep inside me
no one caught me when I fell
I'm alone but I always was
it's just that I didn't see
all I wanted was to have some fun
but now I'm in misery
someone please tell me this is only a bad dream
because if it's real, I think I'll scream
no control over my body, or my mind
can't someone please throw me a line?
I don't know where this all will end
can't see around this road's next bend.

==

Every star I've wished upon
and every prayer I've said,
every shattered dream I hold
without you would be dead

Every dream I've woken from
crying out your name
and every time I've had to play
your foolish little game

And every time you break my heart
and all the times I've cried;
I don't mind any of these things
as long as I am by your side

==

A child cries out in the darkness
but there's no one who can hear
no one around her cares if she hurts
she's left alone to face her deepest fear

somewhere in the distance
I can hear her calling out
I want so badly to reach out to her
and help her understand what life is about

and I realize that I am not alone
though at times, I think I am
I realize that inside, we are all that child
and we're just searching for a friend

==

The autumn leaves are falling
summer fades, begins to die
Their beauty takes my breath away
but I can only feel sadness because of one lie

Seasons will change
all will come to an end,
just as their words
will cause truth to bend

Some twist the truth to what they want it to be
because it's safer to tell a lie
so I guess it's time I just give up
though it's hard to say goodbye

In the end all will be repaid in one of two places
in the fires of hell or through heaven's gates
but since I know you (and myself) all too well
I know that I will see you down in hell

(it's easy to see that as a young girl (I'm guessing the 10-14 age range) I was still struggling with the concept of religion and wrote a lot about heaven, hell, god, gods, etc. I had kind of forgotten how much I struggled with these things back then. I went to Catholic school, I guess that these thoughts were unavoidable)...

==

Their smiling faces betray,
trust in us, there's a price to pay,
for your confidences, once your own
are theirs to take and then make known

You can try, but it's all in vain
before you even started you lost the game
no one will care if you give in and die
it's just another victory
chalked up to their side


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